BE CAREFUL WITH THE MATH YOU DO

I once sold saliva, and since,

Just existing turned into expense

     I can’t stop making spit,

     It’s a damned money pit

With each swallow I lose fifty cents

ODE TO DORIS

To Doris the GILF, my respects. 

She sells the best smut, kink, and sex.

     And for fifteen bucks more,

     If your throat’s getting sore,

She will bring you some soup in a pyrex

UPSIDE TO THE DOWNSIDE

When orders are many and various

It’s quite a fine time and affair I guess

     But if business slows down,

     I will smile and not frown -

I can finally eat asparagus