My Bad Date Chronicles Pt 3

My Bad Date Chronicles Pt 3

A little humor in the mix

There are different types of Dates : People you like who don't like you, People who are amazing but you feel no connection, and then the infamous BAD DATE. Once in a Blue Moon there's the perfect Date but it’s rare. Unfortunately, there are more Bad Dates than good but they are great for laughs with friends so let’s have some fun!

Comment with your own stories, I'm sure we've all been there and you aren't alone. (Some people will use this chance to be mean, but please be nice. This is all in good fun.)

Warning: My nicknames for the guys don't reflect EVERYONE in that profession, just this ONE person in that profession.


The Architect:

THE GUY: Tall, mid-40s, brown hair, and, as you may expect, into design and beautiful buildings which I don't know much about.


We met at a local restaurant. Right away I noticed he did NOT look like his picture. His face was different. It wasn't bad but now I already feel like I've already been lied to. He also had very loose short shorts on like barely hanging over his hips, sandals and his shirt had one button that was snapped a little above his belly button exposing his entire chest. The restaurant was relatively nice and he was practically undressed so I felt a little awkward. We made our way to a table that was next to a group of guys who were painters. They seemed like the most laid-back easy-going group of guys who were full of laughs and drinking beers. They weren't sloppy, they were just fun-loving good time people in their white outfits and paint all over them. I smiled but I looked at his face and he glared at them. It sort of shocked me to see his reaction.

As we sat down, he took the further chair which left him facing the painters and me with my back to them. It made it harder to listen in to my date but I didn't mind at all. I don't think it mattered which seats we sat in; it was just down hill.

We went through the basic stuff. His age, my age, his work where he puts a design down for people’s homes and then has teams which he oversees to do the work, how I work on fundraisers and charities. Every time I gave an answer, he kept looking past me at the painters. He asked if they were bothering me but I said no. They really weren't. I thought they made the place better.

The waitress came and she asked for our drink order. He asked if I wanted an alcoholic drink. I declined and said I didn't drink. This was a lie; I just didn't want a drink in the afternoon. I also wasn't sure I wanted to be there and an alcoholic drink may take longer to make. He said since I declined, he was declining. That’s fine.

The drinks came fast and we ordered. I stuck with an appetizer quesadilla and he got a sandwich. Again, I chose something easy and fast to make. So far this was really rough, we didn't have much in common and I honestly get so nervous on dates. It seems like it doesn't matter what I order, it will end up on my boobs, or some piece of parsley or seed with be in my teeth, anything can happen!

He put his chair to the side of the table so he could sit far back and put his foot on his knee. His foot, was practically on the table and the AC was blowing his shirt open. I'll give him credit; he was thin and smooth-chested but not a model that could pull that off. I like a nicely dressed, professional, well-mannered gentleman. This guy was reminding me of the one from friends who dated Pheobe, wore loose pants and you see his everything! He looked like we should have been in the Bahamas ready to swim in the ocean and it wasn't warm weather. His pants were loose enough to see everything if he had it hanging out - of which I can't tell you. He just kept glaring over my shoulder at the guys behind me and I kept wondering if his clothes would stay on.

Our food finally comes and I'm honestly not hungry and trying to eat quickly. I am interested in almost everything but he had so little to say. He just kept glaring at the painters, and acting like he is better than everyone. He was dismissive to the waitress, and was looking down on me too. We tried to talk about his work - boring, movies - he doesn't watch them, TV - he only watches CNN. I was about to go for politics or religion because why not? It was already so bad.

He gave another glare and I finally couldn't stand it.

"What is going on? Do you know the guys behind me? You keep glaring at them and its really obvious" I asked almost jokingly and smiled.

"They are drinking on the job" he replied.

"Do they work for you?"

"No. And if they did, I would fire them. That’s so fucking inappropriate!" He was legit ready to punch one of them pissed. I couldn't believe it.

"Okay but they don't work for you. How do you know they are on the job? They are at lunch and maybe they just finished and are celebrating. They are just having a good time. That’s okay right?" I was trying to make light of the situation.

"They better be done with their job because I will make sure they get fired from where ever they are!"

I tried to change the topic but now that I had opened it up, he kept commenting and commenting and critiquing their every move.

"Oh my goodness! Can you let it go? They are people at another table who don’t' affect your life at all" I finally half way snapped. 

"It’s inappropriate. They are drinking!"

"YOU asked ME if I wanted a drink! What if I had said yes? Would you be sitting there glaring and judging me like you are them? They are people! We are people and so far, you’re really rude to everyone!"

"Me? Look at you! You’re in tennis shoes!"

I looked down. I was in black slacks, a dark blue button up with long sleeves and yes, my black tennis shoes. They are non-slip, comfortable and who looks at shoes anyway?

"I'd rather have a drink with them than sit here and listen to you constantly judge them-"

"YOU DON"T DRINK" he interrupted.

"I DO NOW! and my tennis shoes? YOUR PRACTICALLY NAKED! Button up your fucking SHIRT!" 

I wrapped the last bit of quesadilla in my napkin.

"Get a to-go box" he said now glaring at me.

"NO WAY. I'm OUT of here!"

Thank god for paper napkins because I wrapped it up, put the quesadilla in my purse and jumped up out of my chair. 

"Get fucking dressed" I hissed and turned.

"Hey guys" I said to the painters.

They all responded with proper hellos. I introduced myself, shook their hands and explained I just wanted to say hi. I complimented how nice they were and how fun their table looked, that next time I wanted to join in on the fun and laughs. They offered me a seat and drink but I appropriately declined and told them to keep smiling and left.

I got outside. His negativity was SO suffocating that the cloudy day felt like clear blue skies. I took a few breathes and got into my car to call my friend.

"You put the quesadilla in your purse? HAHAhahaha WHY did you PUT a QUESADILLA in your PURSE! Why didn't you just walk out of there?"

I laughed too. 

"I don't know. So stupid. I didn't want it to go to waste I guess? I DON"T KNOW. I just wasn't done eating but I couldn't sit there anymore! It was so horrible!"

My friends were gathered for afternoon coffee so I went to them and by the time I arrived they were all laughing and asking about my quesadilla. The oil had now gotten through the napkin and inside my purse.

"I don't even care!" I laughed. "I'm still hungry and I’m still going to eat it!" I put the food on the table, opened it and took a bite.

Ding - my phone went off and it was a text message.

"I wanted to apologize and take you out on another date. I shouldn't have acted like that."

My friends saw. "Are you going to do it? If he was cute give him another chance!"

"I would rather cut off my hand. He is where all happiness dies. I feel like I have to go around and just hug everyone who has ever come into contact with him..."

We changed the topic. I got 3 more texts from him but declined to answer any. As an extra "screw this guy" I ordered an Irish ice coffee.