I have always been an exhibitionist. I have also always been a plus sized girl. These two things have not always gone so well together.
My teen years and early adulthood were saturated with people who had nothing but negative things to say about my body. Nothing about me seemed to be good enough. It took a toll on my spirit. It took a toll on my self confidence, it shattered it actually.
Fast forward to my thirties, and here I am. I made a major decision to leave a thirteen year career as a medical assistant and pursue sex work. It is something I have always wanted to be involved with. I have many friends in the sex work industry and I have always admired the work they do and the way in which they build relationships with other humans who just need a safe space to explore their own desires.
I am currently a senior in college and I will graduate with my Bachelors in Social Work in fall of 2021. I am hoping to go straight into the Master's program after that. My goal with my degree is to become a therapist. A sex therapist.
I have been in the BDSM community for almost 17 years. I have taught at kink/fetish conventions. I have created strong bonds with other people via the kink/fetish community and they have helped me grow as a person in so many ways. My hope is to be able to help others grow as well. Too often people feel they have to supress their desires, but I want to help people learn to drop the shame that society has placed on them.
I share this with you because I want you to know that this line of work is mutually beneficial on more than one level.
Yeah, of course the obvious part is that the client gets a product and the sex worker makes money. That is just the surface level of all of this.
It took me months to gain the confidence to start posting content online. I signed up for sites to be a seller and content creator months before I ever made my first post. The negative voice in the back of my mind had crept its way back to the front of my thoughts and had taken hold. I was convinced that the moment I posted my first piece of content online that I would be met with nothing but messages from people telling me all the ways in which I was not enough.
Nevertheless, I took the plunge anyway.
I am so grateful that I have. I have only been at this for a couple of months now and already I feel my life being transformed once more.
I have made some great connections with some truly great people. These clients have made me feel that I am not just enough, but more than enough. They make me see myself in ways I have never been able to see myself before. I wake up everyday with more confidence in who I am. I am falling in love with parts of my body I have never loved before. I am embracing myself on deeper and deeper levels. I am losing the fear of being totally exposed.
I am not getting rich in this industry, at least not monetarily. That is ok with me. I am getting rich with experiences, connections, and self love. That is the gift my clients give to me with every interaction.