Nothing screams “i’m intellectual” like making an attempt at a scholarly article on a used panty buying website. But, truth be told, I don’t think i’ve used my degree anywhere besides my job as much as I have here. As a certified addictions counselor and psychology degree holder, I see some fucked up shit. It’s literally my job to deal with other peoples fucked up shit. So when it comes to the adult industry, I feel like i’m right at home. But, in building a successful business and brand, i’ve found that my degree comes in handy a lot. 

The Start of a Brand

I treat my business like just that—a business. And as time has gone on, i’ve treated it like a brand. I began my newfound “business” and soon to become addiction (ironic, I know) in my parents basement. I was still in school (still am and I feel as though i’ll always be) and had a newborn and I had this brilliant fucking idea to add one more thing to my plate. Except out of all the capes I wear, “panty seller” isn’t one I advertise in my private life. So by day, I was momming, schooling, working and by night I was taking low-quality boob pics under the blankets and keeping inventory, a notebook of addresses and shipping supplies under my bed. Let me tell you—I just about shit myself when a family member tried to vacuum under the bed. Since then, I have moved into my own house and my basement I call my own houses my sex shop. Nifty, eh? So as soon as the kiddo is on to bed, it’s sealing, shipping, sexting and camming. (No, it’s not as glamorous as some, I know). 

The Degree

I work in the helping profession. Which, again, is fucking ironic being my day job and my night job both help people just in different ways. But, i’ve found I’m able to apply the skills on a daily basis and the skillset I’ve developed in school on a regular basis. Human behavior is able to be studied in every second of ones day and it is BEST studies here, i’ve found. And, according to Sigmund Freud, we’re all sexually driven beings. I have never seen as many sexually driven beings as I have here (and I love it because usually the sexually driven beings I work with are in prison). Studying the human brain is fascinating not just on an intellectual level, but on a personal level because it gives me a greater understanding of all of the men and women I work with on Scented Pansy. I can understand what drives a buyer to want what they want. I can understand buyers who have experienced sexual trauma and in turn seek this industry for refuge from post traumatic stresses. I can identify behaviors displayed by sellers whom feel threatened, competitive and/or superior/inferior. Ever study the Id, Ego and Super Ego? Yeah, it hits all of this on the head. It is fascinating. Absolutely fascinating. As a domme whom has many subs/slaves/sissy’s, it’s also so much easier to understand why a person may feel compelled to be controlled and be dominated. Often times, people are driven to things that are thought of by society as “sexually deviant” because they have experienced suppression of sexual behavior, trauma/abuse, segregation from people whom they identify with sexually or confusion on sexual identity. Serving my buyers/clients has been made so much easier simply because I can understand and empathize with what really makes them tick. 

The Business

I take my business very seriously. Knaughty Mommy is a brand. MY brand.. I have long time buyers, loyal buyers, buyers and sellers that want to burn me at the stake and I’ve got a lot of room for improvement. But, while this is a business, this is also a bond to be built with your clients. I’d like to think that over $5,000 in gifts, cash and services ordered for me, from Scented Pansy and third party orders, has come naturally but truth be told, it hasn’t. It’s been hard as fuck. I’ve faced criticism, exclusion, fighting and name calling, degradation of my body, weeks of no sales and at one point I took a few months off while my personal life spiraled out of control. I think of this like I thought of my education; I will only get as much out of this as I put in. It’s demanding as fuck sometimes. As a huge advocate for mental health and working in the mental health field, it’s hard to be constantly “okay” when you may not be “okay”. In the business you have to always be sexy. Always be nice. Always be ready. Always be aiming to please. But unfortunately, there are days when i’m ready to strip naked and light myself on fire and jump in a hole and much-less wanted to do it to others. Thankfully for all of you, I have done none of those things. 

All in all, human interactions and behavior are able to be observed all around us. I mean, duh. That’s a no-brainer. But it’s how you use your knowledge of humans that will further excel your chances of success. Don’t have a degree? No problem! Everyone has Google. Fuck, half my education came from Google. What i’m trying to say is, study. Education is a life-long learning experience. Study sales techniques, business models, profit margin/loss. Study the site, the buyers, peak/low times. Study it all. Look at patterns, determine effective ways to communicate with your buyer. Do you need to dumb yourself down? Do you need to smart-up? (Yes, such a thing). You can stick to your guns and still find success. We all have the ability to learn, it just depends on if you ever want to stop. 

-KM