Shit Happens and That's That
There's lot of things you don't think about when it comes to selling fetish items; it's not all orgasms and sexiness 24/7.
After a year of selling, here's some the best bloopers I have for everyone to either relate or laugh at:
-I had no clue how much shipping would cost my first package. Put 4 stamps on a padded envelope with panties inside. The buyer messaged me several days later that I owed him $1.47 for postage he had to pay.
-Someone wanted to purchase peed in panties. Easy order! Peed in them, got them soaked, and proceeded to vacuum seal them while it was fresh. The vacuum sealer sucked the pee out of the panties and made a HUGE mess inside the machine, outside of it, on the counter. A quick Google search said to freeze wet items first...
-Half my videos end up being 2-3 video put together because my dogs LOVE to bark while I'm recording. Then they're totally silent the next few hours after.
-I forgot to put all my specimen cups away when my mom came over to my house. "Why do you have so many cups? What are they for?" SPRING CLEANING MY ART PROJECTS.
-Before I send out some perishable items, I freeze them to keep them fresher through shipment. I happened to be shipping an item out fresh out of the freezer and you could feel it through the envelope. I tried to warm it up on the outside but it wasn't working. The teller at the post office was like, "Why is your package so cold? Is there liquid inside? What is this?" I quickly blurted out, "Oh, it's an art project! I freeze the acrylic paint to set it up faster. You know, like nail polish? Same thing." She gave me a weird look and responded, "Yeah, I used that beauty tip before. It works." Now they all think I sell art projects at the post office.
-One of my dogs took a pair of panties I had worn for 3 days and licked the crotch clean. The buyer was super understanding but I had a moment of 'never thought I'd have this kind of conversation'.
-Those panties that a buyer specifically says NO SKID MARKS always seem to get skids. Even if I don't go poop and wash my butt a hundred times, there's still a skid.
-I once mixed up buyers who bought videos at the same time. One guy wanted a poop video, the other wanted the most vanilla video you count think of. Poop guy quickly let me know it was the wrong one and enjoyed both videos in the end. The other guy ended up blocking me before I could offer a refund. I felt so bad.
-Another time I mixed up conversations on Kik. Very similar names and profile pics, two totally different convos. I was doing a Kik session where it was a very degrading humiliation session. I ended up sending the nastiest, meanest message to the other guy who was making an order. He got a good laugh out of it but still embarrassing nonetheless.
-Last one off the top of my head, I accidentally sent a poop pic into a selling Kik group that was only for panties. I couldn't spam the chat with other pics and apologies fast enough.
I'm sure there's lots of other ones I can't think of but this is enough to give you a good laugh...and some hope...within the fetish world! Hope y'all enjoyed.