Swinger Lifestyle 🚫 Open Relationship

Swinger Lifestyle 🚫 Open Relationship

Being a swinger does NOT always imply you're in an open relationship

TLDR? The swinger lifestyle does NOT always have to mean an open relationship. It's what you and your partner is comfortable doing. If solo play is not something you're cool wth, SAY IT! Trust and communication are big factors in thee relationships. No one should ever be pressured into doing something they don't want to do. However, this topic can come up at a later date if you both feel comfortable and ready β™₯️

Since 2020 (ironically, before the Pandemic kicked off), my husband and I have entertained the idea of couple-swapping or maybe a three-some. At first, I met the idea with some hesitation - will we do MFM as well as MFF? Or will it just be MFF, seeing that I'm a bi-woman and he's a straight man. HE was hesitant to the idea of MFM because he didn't want his wife to be sucking on some rando with the SAME mouth that's used to kiss our kids. Pretty fair assessment, I suppose. Anyway, thinking about it more, I've realized I didn't really care for MFM action. Let's just do couple-swap and maybe MFF if we can find a unicorn?Β 

Granted, we have NOT done anything with these ideas. We've only shared it to those who are willing to hear our opinions and spare the judgment. Of course, a TON of people resist the idea because they feel that the swinger lifestyle is a foot in the door towards separation/divorce. What happens if there's secret communication going on? You see, my husband and I are in a very secure marriage, ironically built off of misery from two partners who treated us like shit. If we are BOTH entertaining the idea of couple-swapping and/or and threesome, what's the point if cheating on each other? The bottom line is, BOTH partners need to be okay with the idea, BOTH partners need to communicate, and BOTH partners need to be trusting of the other. If one piece is hesitant, it's not gonna work. TRUST ME, my ex-husband was trying to force me into a threesome with a "friend" he chose for me and I was NEVER okay with it. It was a creepy vibe, to be honest.Β 

Personally, I DO believe the most important aspects of the swinger lifestyle IS trust and communication, and I'll tell you why. The swinger lifestyle seems to be synonymous with an 'open relationship,' and I have to admit, that I thought the same thing. Swinger lifestyle does NOT always mean that, for example, in the case of my husband and my relationship. Recently, I had gone out with a couple of people I just met on a business trip and we somehow got onto the topic of swinger. I'm not a shy person and I'll share whatever you want to hear about me, so OF COURSE, I disclosed our marriage lifestyle. Unfortunately, this translated into me being in an open relationship for one of the guys I hung out with. My little group I was with drank a little more after and then went on our merry ways to our own separate hotel rooms.Β 
Β The very next day, I started receiving text messages from this guy insinuating that I wanted to come over and do some kink play. I was definitely drunk the night before, almost to the point of passing out, but I REMEMBER that I did not suggest anything of that sort. I even confirmed that with the other people who were with us. I shared this with my husband because, what's te point of hiding it? Unfortunately, that's where shit went down, UNDERSTANDABLY! At one point of the night, my husband had called me and we chatted for a bit before I started passing my phone around so everyone can say hi. That same dude had a 5-minute conversation with my husband about God knows what, but the dude did tell my husband, "don't worry, your wife is safe with me. I'll keep an eye on her." That did not settle well with my husband, but he didn't mention until I shared the texts that this guy was sending me.Β 

Because of that trust and open communication, I don't have to worry or second guess of who my partner is upset with. Even more, I didn't have to worry about if my husband would be manipulated by this guy in confrontation, and try to turn it all on me.Β 



Swinger Lifestyle 🚫 Open Relationship
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