Panty Selling HR : Seller Groups
Something I’ve found spans across all media selling platforms is the general sense of “sisterhood” between sellers...and the intrinsic rivalries therein.
I am by no means new to online sex work, but don’t really feel the need to broadcast that while making an entrance into a new selling scene. I’ve found that by keeping to myself, the different groups make themselves known. On nearly every site or app that I’ve used to promote or sell content, I’ve been approached by at least one mama bear asking me who I am and what my motives are. Well shit, I’m just another seller trying to make some money, right? Aren’t we all?
As humans, we crave a sense of belonging and security. As sex workers, we need those same things but on a whole other level. With the social climate as it is and there still being such a stigma from the false equivalencies and misinformation, staying safe as a SW is top priority. I think as women, we’ve probably all been told the adage of staying in groups, don’t ever let yourself be alone in a bad situation. So what’s the difference if you’re online?
While there are still always risks of physical danger with online SW, obviously that is not one of the biggest concerns. Doing what we do online presents it’s own set of unique risks. Are you being careful enough to protect your identity? Are you being careful enough to protect your money? Are you being careful enough to protect your mental health? These are all of equal importance!
So how does being a part of an online community group help in any of that? Does it even help or are we just dividing the cafeteria up into online cliques?
I have to say, from my perspective, it’s oftentimes more the latter. Mob mentality is real y’all and breeds negativity. We all have our bad days, “work” related or otherwise. We all have those days where even a hint of a time waster is gonna push us over the edge. We all have days when we wonder why TF we’re even still doing this. And it’s healthy to need and want to vent these issues out to someone who can relate! But when calling out other sellers for things you may not agree with or going off on a buyer for not being as direct as possible becomes the norm in these groups, that’s when there’s an issue.
Now, not all groups are like this. And not all groups are like this all the time. But even online, negativity spreads like wildfire and creates the hostile “work” environment the group was formed out of to begin with!
Every market needs a little friendly competition to thrive, but that line can easily get blurred very quickly. It’s easy to get jaded doing what we do. It’s easy to see buyer profiles and awkwardly forward messages and dismiss them as time wasters. It’s easy to see baby sellers and talk shit about their naïveté to the game or the platform. What isn’t easy is staying grounded and remembering two things: 1. You can catch more bees with honey! And 2. That seller you’re letting get to you doesn’t have to be your competition, you can be allies.
Imagine a community that lifts each other up. Imagine getting referrals from other sellers for services they may not offer. Imagine a united group of sellers instead of this table whispering about that one. We all can either contribute to or help resolve at least some of the issues we all face as sellers!