Friends with Benefits Meaning – What does it exactly mean?
Have you ever given it much thought what exactly “friends with benefits” means?
I’m sure we all get the general idea of what friends with benefits mean but there are so many points on the spectrum of the relationship scale to consider and it all depends on the mutual consent of both partners.
Let’s say a couple meets for their first date, they kiss and want to see each other again. Regular communication by direct phone and text continues. The couple gets to know each other quite well and realizes they have a lot in common. A playful mention of having sex comes into the conversation and the next thing you know, they are planning to meet and have sexual intercourse. Now, they are technically, “friends with benefits.”
But what if they don’t see each other regularly and just continue to talk and/or text for months, maybe years afterward? Is that couple now still “friends with benefits” or “just friends” even though they have already had sex?
Think of the relationship scale spectrum as follows:
A “one-night-stand” that leads to a “no strings attached” that leads to “friends with benefits” that leads to an “exclusive relationship” that concludes with “marriage”.
ONE NIGHT STAND (ONS)
Let’s pretend you go out by yourself, not expecting to meet up with anyone. All of a sudden, you find yourself very attracted to someone and start to talk, have a drink or two, maybe even dance together. The hours seem to fly by, next thing you know, you’re in the backseat of a vehicle fornicating. No phone numbers were exchanged. After that day or night, you spent together, you never hear or see from the person again.
NO STRINGS ATTACHED (NSA)
Let’s take the same scenario above but now add into the story that phone numbers were exchanged. General communication takes place about what a great time each of you had and how much you both enjoyed having sex. You both agree to meet again repeatedly but under the understanding that it’s “just for sex” and nothing more. No one is mentioning going out to eat, seeing a movie, etc. It’s just for casual sex.
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS (FWB)
Next, on the spectrum of the relationship scale, would logically come friends with benefits. Now that you have been talking, texting, and seeing each other on a regular basis for friendship and sex, you begin to enjoy each other’s company immensely. The only problem is, no one is wanting to commit to an exclusive relationship at this time but the thought does cross both your minds.
EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP (ER)
Don’t you think if you are now only seeing each other regularly for friendship and sex but aren’t wanting to commit to a relationship, you technically already are? No one in the relationship wants to admit to the other that they really like the other person and are falling in love with them because they don’t want to get hurt or rejected. Therefore, it feels safer to stay on the FWB side of the relationship spectrum.
In a perfect world, all of the past scenarios would lead to marriage. It is almost certain to happen. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world.